2nd Wind, January 2003
"The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say."
-Bernard Baruch-"Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life."
-composer Daniel Francois Esperit Auber-
When I opened the blinds this morning I saw movement in the lawn chair my neighbor has under his big tree. It wasn't a mellow morning when I'd expect someone to be lounging outdoors. With a second look, I realized the chair was occupied by the free-range-three-chicken family, huddled together. If those chickens are as unhousebroken as all the many chickens of my experience, I hope the neighbor looks before he lounges. Then I noticed a covey of eleven quail under my oak trees, as happy as I'd be if it was a free day at Dunkin' Donuts. We've had recent storms that must have blown tasty treats out of the trees.
Later (fortunately) I saw Ooda, Beth's cat with an attitude, sitting on the roof of the small shed on my porch (housing for my electric scooter). From that perch, she can look in my front window and critique whatever is happening in the house, usually, I'm sure, with disapproval. I've watched her as she decides how to get up on that roof...just out of reach for a direct leap. She considers it daily. After some calculation and rejection, she finally turns and is surprised to see a tree which can be climbed and from which the roof is accessible. Does she ever go direct to the tree? Of course not. She makes it a daily challenge. Years ago, Beth heard pitiful wailing from a neighbor's abandoned shed, and found this young black kitten with a splash of orange across her face. A visitor remarked that the splash looked like a skid mark, so the little one became Skidoodle, later shortened to Ooda. She was a darling loveable kitten. That facet of her personality is a dim memory. She bullies the other cats and doesn't hesitate to extend that to people. When Beth is gone weekends, Ooda knows how to get into Beth's house, but prefers to wail at my front door. To give the other cats peace, I feed her here. She professes starvation, belied by her rotund figure. However, when I do put food down, she's not above giving me a swat of disapproval because I was too slow. I think she must have read somewhere that Egyptian cats were considered royalty and it's gone to her head.
With Ed's mom visiting, we had a nice three-generation Christmas at his home. Then, two day's after, I almost became one of America's Most Wanted. Beth had reminded me in the morning that we had an evening appointment in Auburn. Ed, Beth and the boys had posed for a family portrait and we were all going up for a "viewing" and for the two "grandmas" to make a selection. Every evening for years, my friend, Louise, and I have talked on the phone, reviewing the day and assuring ourselves each other was O.K. When we left for Auburn at 5:30, this completely slipped my mind. To add to the confusion, my cordless phone was left on. I'd like to blame that on the cats, but it is unlikely they were the culprits. Louise called at 6:00 and got a busy signal. When she continued to get it she checked with Diana to see if I'd told her I was going to be gone. Diana was clueless, but said she'd call Thelma. Thelma was out of town. Then they checked with Vivian and Don. Nobody knew Beth's cell phone number or Ed's home number (They do now!). Next they recruited Hal and Doris to drive across town and check on me. My place is really difficult to find after dark and they mistakenly tried to open a neighbor's gate. The resident German Shepherd discouraged that. After finding my place, they reported no amount of knocking and yelling brought results, but the screen door was unlocked and the porch light on. Meantime, I, with the family, was enjoying a leisurely dinner out and a relaxed evening. When I got home, a little after 9:00, I noticed the phone was dead and located the problem. It soon rang, and I heard Vivian say, "Thank goodness you're there. We had decided to call the sheriff." Oh, Oh! I felt really bad I had worried so many people, but I also felt warm, fuzzy and overwhelmed at their concern and caring.
In December I mentioned the "Baaa block" which had traveled back and forth in our family for years. Our choir director, Ken, tells me they have a 17 yr. old fruitcake doing likewise. I think an old wooden block might be more presentable after 17 yrs. than a fruitcake. One year, their California family members visited the Florida relatives. With the help of a cooperative neighbor, the cake inexplicably turned up on the Florida host's doorstep long after the Californians were back home. When it had gone "underground" for awhile, Ken asked his brother what happened to the fruitcake. The brother, in turn, asked Ken how recently he'd had his car serviced. Guess what turned up duct-taped underneath Ken's car. Another year, when Ken loaned a seldom used golf bag to a friend, the friend unzipped one of the pockets and said, "What's this"?.... of course, the fruitcake. As Ken was telling me this, his wife, Janie, said, "Why didn't we think to give it to your brother as a wedding gift"? So I gather the fruitcake remains at least semi-intact.
I recently realized the evolution of my lifetime could be gauged by bathrooms. The low point would be our trip East in a '21 Dodge, when service stations and rest rooms were far between. We carried gas cans and our food, but had to hope for a clump of sagebrush or a tree when nature called. (I once acquired a bad case of poison oak behind a tree and I don't recommend the resulting location for that particular malady). In the absence of either sagebrush or tree, we had to pretend the car was a big rock and the remaining passengers were to become absorbed in the scenery on the other side.
Early in our marriage we rented a small house with a path. The two-holer had a resident Black Widow spider under the seats. There was no need for a "No Loitering" sign. And, knowing she was there did more for speedy elimination than anything you see advertised on TV.
Then we had a large Victorian house with one bathroom. We rented out three rooms. We were so happy to have indoor plumbing in those days it never occurred to us that one bathroom for six people might be less than perfect. After 46 years of marriage, George and I got our first home with two bathrooms and it seemed like the ultimate luxury...a bathroom all my own. Now, I live alone and have two bathrooms. How's that for progress?
If there's one thing I've learned over those same years, it's making New Year's Resolutions is a waste of time. However, I do make New Year's wishes. For each of you, I wish a kinder and gentler 2003, with some bits of excitement thrown in. My biggest wish, and prayer, is for progress toward Peace.
Blessings, Darlys,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
It was late at night and Heidi, who was expecting her second child, was home alone with her 3 yr. old daughter, Katelyn. When Heidi started going into labor, she called 911. Due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and in due time Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3 yr. old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Katelyn quickly responded, "Spank him again. He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place."
Outside a small town, a fire started inside a chemical plant. Before long, it exploded into big time flames and an alarm went out to fire departments for miles around. After fighting the fire for over an hour, the president of the chemical company approached the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of that plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the company that brings them out safely!" As soon as the chief heard this, he ordered the firemen to strengthen their attack on the blaze. After two more hours, the president of the company raised the award to $100,000. From a distance a siren was heard and another fire truck rolled into sight. It was a local volunteer company composed entirely of men over 65. To everyone's amazement the little fire engine raced through the gates and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. The other firemen watched as the old timers hopped off their rig and began to fight the fire with an effort they had never seen before. After an hour of intense fighting, the volunteer company had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas. Joyous, the company president announced he was doubling the award to $200,000 and walked over to personally speak to the volunteers. After thanking each of the old men individually, he asked the group what they intended to do with the reward money. The fire truck driver was quick to answer, "The first thing we're gonna do is fix the dang brakes on that truck."
When my three year old opened his birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest faucet to fill the weapon. I was not so pleased. I turned to mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns"? Mom smiled, and replied...."I remembered."
Phone conversation: "Hello, is this Father O'Malley?" "It is." "This is the IRS (Tax board). Can you help us?" "I'll try." "Do you know a Ted Houlihan?" "I do," "Is he a member of your congregation?" "He is." "Did he donate $10,000 to the church?" "He will."
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