I received a Valentine from a younger man. Of course, he's happily married as well as recovering from a knee replacement, but the Valentine card, sending a hug, was mighty welcome. I'll collect that hug in person the first time I get a chance.

I've mentioned the dental competition between Ed and me. Ferd must have been reading over my shoulder.  A few days later he became withdrawn and plaintive. A trip to the Vet revealed an abscessed tooth, so he got general anesthesia and thereby won the competition. He came home with pills to be taken twice daily. Pilling any cat is a challenge, but pilling Ferd requires Superwoman.  I managed the first few fairly well until he caught on to the places he might be ambushed.  When I was down to the last pill, we had been keeping a wary eye on each other. I had the pill unveiled and handy on my walker shelf. Up to then I hadn't waylaid Ferd in the bedroom, so he was relaxed on the bed beside me. Conditions were perfect for a sneak attack, except I had just removed my nightgown and hadn't started to dress. I momentarily envisioned an unprotected struggle with a battling cat and quickly discarded the thought.  Can you imagine trying to explain, in the emergency room, how I got my injuries?

When it was time for my dental work, Beth delivered me to the office of the oral surgeon (Oral surgeon sounds so much better than "the guy who sawed off a bridge and yanked a tooth") Beth asked the receptionist what was the minimum time I would be there, as she had on errand to run. The lady said, "45 minutes." Beth came back after the 45 minutes and I was still in the waiting room, doing what else but waiting. I had yet to be invited into the inner sanctum. Beth sat down next to me and suddenly said, "Oh, Oh!"  I said, "What?" She confessed that in the rush of leaving, she had forgotten the cup custards she was making for my "soft food stage." Should she, or shouldn't she, drive the ten miles home to turn off the oven?  She decided to wait a little longer. When the 45 minutes turned into two hours, she left.  So when I was finally done... .... no  Beth. Fortunately, she'd left a message for me. Believe it or not, the custard was edible. The texture was "different," resembling macaroni and cheese without the cheese. The crisp brown crust was a new touch, but all was not lost.

Triece and Steve, with their year old charmer of a daughter, Haley, visited a few weeks ago. Triece is the granddaughter of one of my college room-mates, but we first met a little over a year ago. As we were sitting in the living room a passing train whistled. Steve looked startled and said, "Where are the tracks?" I took him to the back door and showed him they are across the fields, about a block away."  I had never known he was a freight conductor, and he hadn't realized he was passing my place. Some day, if I hear the train whistle render the first five notes of "Shave and a haircut, six bits" opposite my place, I'll know Steve is going by.

A friend, whom I'll call Joy, was in a beauty parlor, in a neighboring very small town.  She heard an older lady proudly bragging about her son who is in law enforcement. "He's had a promotion, and now he'll be "undercover.'" Joy knew the son, so when she met him a few days later she said, "Congratulations on your promotion." He looked startled and replied, "What do you mean?"  Said Joy, "I heard you're now doing undercover work." He blanched, and gasped, "No one's supposed to know that."  Joy advised." "Then tell your mother and, by now, half your home town."  I wonder if he's still "undercover."

My cousin Bea, who is older than I, but has nary a quaver in her voice, has her own method of discouraging telemarketers. They tend to start with a cheery, "And how are you today?" Bea answers: "I'm 91 years old. How much time do you have to listen?"

 If I owe you an answer or a thank you, it won't get written this month. I haven't been my usual efficient self in getting the income tax together. So I'll mail 2nd Wind, but that's all this time. I'm including extra good wishes, though.

            Blessings,    Darlys

This month's jokes all have a religious theme, so get yourself into a pious mood before proceeding.
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Two nuns, who worked as nurses, had gone out to the country to minister to an outpatient. On the way home they ran out of gas. They were standing beside their car, on the shoulder, when a truck approached. Seeing the ladies of the cloth in distress, the driver stopped to offer help. The nuns explained they needed some gas. The driver of the truck said he would gladly drain some from his tank but he didn't have a bucket or a can. One of the nuns produced a clean bedpan and asked the truck driver if he could use that. He said, "Yes." and proceeded to drain a couple of quarts of gas into the bedpan. He waved goodbye to the nuns and left. The nuns were carefully pouring the precious fluid into their gas tank when a Highway Patrol officer arrived. The trooper stopped and watched for a moment, then said, "Sisters, I don't think it will work, but I sure do admire your faith."

The preacher was wearing a lapel mike, and as he preached fervently, he was pacing about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.  Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before he jerked it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl leaned toward her mother and in a childish stage whisper asked, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us"?

A small town had three churches--Presbyterian, Methodist and Lutheran. All three had a serious problem with squirrels in the church. The Presbyterians decided it was predestined that squirrels be in the church and they would just have to live with them. The Methodists decided they should deal with the squirrels lovingly in the style of Charles Wesley. They humanely trapped them and released them in a park at the edge of town. Within 3 days, they were all back at the church. The Lutherans had the best solution. They voted the squirrels in as members. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

God is sitting in heaven when a scientist prays to Him, "God, we don't need You any more. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing...in other words, we can now do what You did in the beginning." "Oh, is that so? Tell me about it, says God." "Well," says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of You and breathe life into it, thus creating man." "Well, that's interesting....show Me." So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil into the shape of a man. "No, no, no...interrupts God, "Get your own dirt."

Six year old Angie and her four year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his embarrassed big sister had had enough. She whispered to Joel, "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." Joel smirked, "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those men standing by the door? They're hushers."

Father Murphy walked into a pub in Donegal and said to the first man he met, "Do you want to go the heaven?" The man replied, "I do, Father." The priest said. "Then stand over there against the wall."  Father asked a second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?" "Certainly, Father, was the man's reply." "Then stand over there against the wall."  Next, Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole, and asked, "Do you want to go to heaven?" O'Toole answered, "No thank you, Father." The priest was aghast. "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" "Oh," O'Toole replied, "When I die, yes. I thought you meant right now."