Flibby and Ferd, the feline siblings, were my companions and entertainment for fourteen years.  On my birthday in 1989, four unweaned kittens were abandoned on our property.  We taught them to eat, use a litterbox and work at being even more charming so they would find good homes. We placed two at the first try. By the time another "adoption" weekend came along we were hooked on the other two, literally as well as figuratively ... as either my bare legs or my nylons bore witness.

When Flibby died three months after Ferd, I found myself, for the first time in my life, in a house empty of a living companion.  I listed the reasons I would not get another cat. (1) It would be unfair to the cat to become attached and, after a few years (realistically speaking) be homeless again, and (2) it would be an extra burden on Beth, who would be responsible for trips to the Vet, helping to medicate, etc.  Beth listened attentively to my reasoning and said "uh-huh" at the proper places. So that was settled. That night she phoned. "Ed agrees with me...you need a cat. He says if you have to go into assisted living (or more drastic possibilities, which they didn't mention) the cat will have a home over here."  With godparents like that, how could I resist?

The cat adoption lady listened to our particular needs and said, "I have just the cat for you." Fraulein (or Frau) is a silver tabby whose face looks very much like Flibby's except Frau is a double portion.  Flibby was a small cat. Fraulein isn't. She had been in an animal rescue shelter for a year and was probably by-passed in favor of cute kittens.  When we brought her home and let her out of the carrier, she looked around and said "This is more like it.' She did a tour of the house and then jumped on my lap, where she stays like Velcro as long as the lap is available. She briefly interrupts these love fests to be sure the food bowl is still there and actually contains food. She nibbles a token bite or two, then reclaims the lap.  Her shelter-given name, Lady, didn't suit her. She was too much of a klutz for that. Ed suggested that in memory of Flibby (which was short for Flibbertigibbet) we name this one "Flabby.'  In Ed's defense, he hadn't seen her yet.  She is a substantial cat with the typical spay sway in her undercarriage, but she is NOT flabby.  Beth suggested "Thunk,' referring to the solid sound of  "Lady's" dismount. Then we decided, rather than a lady, she is a feline fraulein. She has a boundless need to belong and is putting her best three feet forward until she has me hooked. She gives every indication of being the perfect cat for a less than agile owner.  So far, she hasn't insisted on sleeping on my chest, which Flibby did.  When I mentioned that to Beth, she, picturing the substantial Frau, said, "When I write up your demise for the papers, I'd hate to have to attribute your death to catsphyxiation."

I had promised a Flibby and Ferd tribute. Here are a few re-runs:
(12/89) "After Thanksgiving, we realized the time was approaching when our adolescent kitten, Ferd, would be having impure thoughts concerning his sister.  We were reasonably certain lectures on morality would fall on deaf ears...four of them. So the deed was done...both are now neutered. We had to separate them for a few days and they were bewildered and inconsolable. We resorted to letting them play "pawsies" under a closed door (from opposite sides) so each knew the other was still there. Flibby, whose surgery was far more serious, gave us no trouble, representing the long suffering female. Ferd, reminding me of a human male with a head cold, was ready to dial 911 and be rushed to the emergency room."

(9/91)" My first task daily is to clean the cat pans.  The bathtub in the back bathroom shelters three cat pans (we do have another bathroom for us). This hopefully, allows at least one acceptable pan for a fastidious feline. I should also mention we already had three cats before this kitten invasion.  Flibby, particularly, rejoices in fresh litter. As soon as I remove solids and moist spots from the first pan, adding replacement litter, she gets in and assumes that vacant blissful expression patented by all evacuating cats, thoroughly christening the "clean" pan. When the second clean pan is ready, she puts forth at least one small turd to decorate it. The third is a challenge. Usually she just scratches up a sandstorm in that one, getting a goodly supply of litter granules stored up in her paws so she can deliver them as far as the living room to surprise unwary bare feet."

(5/95)  "If there is a typical cat, Ferd isn't it... especially when it comes to food preferences. He's fond of yogurt, Fiber 1, pancakes, corn on the cob and asparagus. It took me many years and a long procession of predecessors to equip me to be owned by Ferd. I realized this week I'd reached the pinnacle of cat slavery when I became aware I was feeding Ferd the asparagus tips and I was eating the stalks!" Thanks to Flibby and Ferd for a memorable 14 years.

I wrote the first 2nd Wind thirty years ago this month.  When Beth was a little girl she would say, "Mama, tell me all you know."  I would try to explain why that wasn't possible, since much of what we know is stored somewhere in our brains and only emerges when the right buttons are pushed. (Today's pint sized computer whizzes would understand that.) She says, as a child, she felt I was holding out on her.  Now, with thirty years of 2nd Wind on paper, I've come close to telling her "all I know.'

Oh yes, I promised to explain why I was given a shower on my birthday. I'm not getting married, and I'm certainly not pregnant. I'd been specific that it was to be a "no gifts" affair.  So, most of the guests brought cards only, but the cards contained books of stamps.  Wasn't that a clever idea? Most of July's 2nd Wind postage was covered by that shower.  There were also a few friends who didn't understand "no gifts.'  I could forgive their rule-breaking as the gifts were just right.

(A week later)  After Fraulein had been here ten days, I remarked to Beth, "She no longer looks big and awkward to me."  My loving daughter answered, "Funny you'd say that.  She just told me the same thing about you."

This is 2nd Wind's first commercial, but I promised one for Animal Outreach of the Mother Lode in Diamond Springs, CA.  They had been nurturing Fraulein and did a wonderful job of matching her to her new owner.  I know how adorable kittens and puppies are. However, if you are a true animal lover, remember the older animals who are grieving and bewildered over lost homes, abuse, etc.  I am sad when I see how needy for affection this little gal is and I urge you to make room for one more pet dish at your house if you can.

            Shalom,    Darlys

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"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow."   -Jeff Valdez-

"There is no snooze button on a cat that wants breakfast."   -anon-

"Dogs come when they are called. Cats take a message and get back to you later."   -anon-

"Thousand of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this."   -anon-

As the coals from the barbeque burned down, our host passed out marshmallows and long toasting forks. Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block. All twelve of us raced out of the back yard and down the street where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly. They looked up as we breathlessly arrived and their look of appreciation quickly turned to disgust. Then we realized we were all still holding toasting forks loaded with marshmallows.

Young Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test. Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one question. The manager told Murphy, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the American."  Murphy asked, "And why would you be doin' that?  We both got nine questions correct. This bein' Ireland and me bein' Irish, I should get the job."  The manager said, "We've not made the decision on your correct answers, but rather on the question you missed." Murphy protested, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another?" The manager replied, "Simple. The Yank put down on question #5, "I don't know.' You put, "Me neither."

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."  Wearily, he reached across, held her hand for a moment, then tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down again to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you used to bite my neck." Really annoyed by now, he threw back the covers and got out of bed. "Where are you going?' she asked. "To get my teeth."

A man drove his cat into the woods a long way from home.  The cat soon turned up back at home. The second time, the man drove further before releasing the cat. Again, the cat came home. The third time, he took the cat for an even longer ride, going left, then right, then left and right again. Some time after releasing the cat he called his wife on the cell phone. "Is the cat there?" The wife answered, "Yes." The man said, "Put her on the phone, I'm lost."