My earliest Halloween memory is still very vivid, although from 86 years ago. I am hiding behind my mother's skirts...easier done in those days, but peeking out at three small ghosts on our front porch ....ages 6, 7 and 9. They are Elizabeth, Ernest and Alfred, who remained lifelong friends. My mother asks the ghosts a question and is answered by deep silence and by three tongues thrust to ultimate length through the mouth holes in their sheet costumes, then silently popped back in. This is done so efficiently and with such teamwork that Mama can't resist continuing to ask questions in order to see the tongue ballet. Finally, probably tiring of the game, Alfred, the big brother, solemnly explains this is how ghosts talk.

While letting me know she'd drawn an Email blank on one of my messages, my ex-great-niece-in-law, "T", wrote "Just want you to know your niece, Nyla, still can say things that horrify her in how they come out. (It runs in the family, me included.) Shannon (daughter) told her we were going to try and come November 1st to visit. Without thinking, Nyla said 'Oh, that's Halloween, you can fly out.' Shannon of course, jumped on it and said, 'I guess Mom will see if Frank can tune up the brooms.' Poor Nyla was horrified, and said of course she didn't mean THAT!!" (If you are puzzled by my stated relationship to T, she is no longer married to my great nephew, but we still love her).

Recently I shopped for the toppings for an ice cream social. I was tooling along in the electric shopping cart (God Bless the person who thought of those.) with a basket loaded, at that point, with four family size bottles of chocolate syrup, three of butterscotch, two strawberry and a box of sprinkles. I also had some vitamins and a few fruits. A young man standing next to me was eyeing my cart, so I said, "You don't think that's a balanced meal?" Fortunately, he had a sense of humor and after his grin, I explained my peculiar shopping spree.

After September 2nd Wind went out, Alan Green wrote:
"The little western tree frog that visited you the other night reminds me of one who used to climb through our kitchen window almost every night. In the morning we'd find it in the sink, and if we left it alone before long it would climb up the wall, through the screen, and descend to the garden. One day when Katie had done the clothes washing in the machine, she opened it up and there was a tree frog, much cleaner and I'm sure somewhat dizzy from his recent experience."

I acquired a pants suit, probably a thrift store find by Thelma, who is a real pro at seeing what I would like and judging size. I loved the top, but the pants couldn't have been more unflattering to my shape if someone had made a deliberate effort to sabotage me. I handed the pants to Diana, sure she would find someone at her senior residence they would fit. A Sunday or two later, the pants turned up at church on Diana, cleverly combined with other things she had. Two Sundays later, she wasn't going to be at church, so I wore the top. Sooner or later we'll turn up as sort-of semi Bobbsey twins. The fact that she is chocolate and I am vanilla adds more spice.

I was sorting books to be traded or discarded and, in the process, obliterating my name in the front of each. On one book, I discovered the paper jacket had been put on incorrectly and, when the book was opened, it was upside down. The name of the book? Reversible Errors.

As my day to day life becomes less and less newsworthy, I find myself "reaching" to keep 2nd Wind worth reading. However, I am being rescued by quite a few (well, at least five) readers urging me to repeat old favorites. From now on, anything written prior to 1999 will qualify. I chose that date, because, following George's death in October of '98, the mailing list expanded rapidly. I have more readers who were added since that time than old timers. I also note that 152 2nd Wind readers have gone on to greener pastures. I feel confident that my bad jokes didn't contribute to their demise, since they were my contemporaries or people already shut-ins or in nursing homes. I hope they are now checking my website, using the heavenly computers. If you remember, vaguely, a story you would like repeated, let me know. Friend, Linda, considered the following memorable:
My niece, Pat, and her husband, Irving, were reminiscing about the night their first child, Steven, was born. When they arrived at the hospital, Irv hurried ahead of the lumbering Pat in order to hasten the admitting process. As soon as he stated the name, "Copley", the nurse, giving him a startled look, said, solicitously, "You'd better sit down, Mr. Copley." Irv hadn't been through this before, but it seemed to him to be exaggerated concern for the welfare of the father-to-be. When someone arrived with a wheelchair and Irv was urged into it, then wheeled down the hall toward, "Emergency", he wondered if he was going to be more involved in the coming process than he'd been led to believe. It was time to ask questions, even to protest, which he did. The nurse said, "Aren't you having a diabetic reaction?" Irv replied, indignantly, "No, my wife is having a baby." It turned out that an emergency call had come in from Irv's uncle, Ed Copley, who was the one having a diabetic reaction. An ambulance had been dispatched prior to the arrival of the younger Copley couple, hence the nurse's surprise to see "Mr. Copley" walk in. Meantime, Pat, totally ignored and with accelerating contractions, was clutching the counter at "Admitting". Having recognized that Irv wasn't in immediate peril, attention was turned to Pat. The nurse realized matters were progressing rather rapidly. When the Dr. arrived, the nurse suggested he check Pat. Old Doc, as he was known, said, "This is a first baby. It'll be hours yet". So he took Irv out for coffee. When they returned, Steven was already there. Uncle Ed, too, had arrived, by then in a coma which he didn't survive. Pat's best friend, Jean, got word Pat had delivered, so phoned the hospital and asked to speak to Mrs. Copley. The switchboard operator connected her to the senior, and just widowed, one. When Aunt Sadie picked up the phone, she was greeted with a hearty, "Congratulations!" I'm surprised Steven wasn't an only child.

I have so many 2nd Wind friends facing crisis at the moment: hurricane, flood, fire, family death or illness, and I send my love and prayers to each of you. For those of you whose lives are moving along smoothly, take a moment to really appreciate that fact.

            Love,    Darlys

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    The husband had just finished reading the book, "MAN OF THE HOUSE". He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife.   Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house and my word is law!  I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
    His wife replied, "The funeral director would be my guess?!"

    A couple had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor asked why, after 9 children, would you choose to do that. The husband replied that they had read a recent article that 1 out of every 10 children being born was Mexican and they didn't want a Mexican baby - especially since neither of them could speak Spanish.

    A motorcycle cop was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something that was pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive `tape, the ultra sticky kind that doesn't come off once it is put on. Written in large black letters was the sentence, "Get well soon ! Luv, from the nurse you ticketed last week!"

    This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things. He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said no, but explained the situation. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again." Hello I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"